By J. Bailey Molineux

Let's assume you have an irrationally strong fear. You're afraid to ride in elevators, for example. You know your fear is ridiculous but still you can't get over it. You even know how your fear began: as a small child you were badly frightened when you became stuck in an elevator.

You also realize that you literally imagine yourself into your fear. Whenever you think of riding in an elevator, you picture it getting stuck or crashing to the basement.

Now the immediate cause of your fear is obvious: your anticipation of possible harm or pain as a result of riding an elevator. And no matter how unrealistic and improbable your fear may be, it is very real, uncomfortable and debilitating to you. If you are to overcome your fear, however, you will need to make a two pronged attack on it: by changing your thinking and by changing your behavior. You would first have to persuade yourself of the irrationality of your fear. The chances are very slim that you would ever again be stuck in an elevator, and even if you were, you would probably be rescued or the elevator quickly repaired. And in the very unlikely event that the cable would break, you would have to realize there are back-up cables designed to prevent the elevator from crashing to the bottom floor.

In addition, you would have to face your fear, but slowly and gradually. Perhaps you could first stand near an elevator and just watch it operate without mishap. Then you could walk into it, but quickly walk out again. Next, you could stay in the elevator for a few minutes, first with the door open and then with it closed. Finally, you could ride up one floor, then two floors, three floors and so on.

If at any time during this gradual, systematic facing of your fear, you should become panicky, stop whatever you are doing, back off and start again, lest you make your fear worse.

For example, if you panic when the elevator door first closes, open it immediately and get out of the elevator. Then spend more time in the elevator with the door open or half open until you are comfortable with this. The only way to reduce any fear is to face it. Talking about it helps; realizing the irrationality of it helps; determining its cause also helps. But to be effectively and completely conquered, the fear must be experienced and overcome. Often this is best done slowly, gradually and systematically. You might overcome your fear if you were suddenly plunged into the feared situation without adequate preparation, but chances are you will really be frightened and so make your fear stronger.

If you can't overcome your fear by yourself, a mental health professional may be able to help you do so using a technique called systematic desensitization. You will be taught deep muscle relaxation and then asked to imagine yourself in the feared situation while in a relaxed state.

The idea behind systematic desensitization is that you cannot be fearful and relaxed at the same time. The two reactions are incompatible with each other. Similarly, you cannot concentrate on relaxing your body while imagining terrible things happening to you.

In this way, relaxation is used to systematically overcome or inhibit your fear. And having done this in your imagination, you are better prepared to face your fear in real life, the only arena in which it can be conquered.

By J. Bailey Molineux

Even though an avid skier, I am afraid of riding chairlifts. I didn't have this fear when I first began to ski but several years ago a friend told me about the brake failure of a chairlift that resulted in the death of a number of people. Just as he finished this charming story, the chairlift we were riding stopped and started to slip backwards!

My fear began shortly thereafter.

Now chairlifts are safe to ride. There is always a chance of a mishap but it is very small indeed.

But not according to my imagination! As I ride up the chairlift, instead of enjoying the scenery or the gentle sway of the chair, I imagine that all sorts of terrible things might happen: brake failure, the cable jumping the track or the chair falling off the cable. And if the chairlift should stop or slow down, I become convinced I am about to crash backwards to the bottom or the lift is stuck, leaving me to spend the night two hundred feet above the ground in sub-zero weather.

In other words, I literally talk, imagine or think myself into my senseless fear.

There are many theories about the causes of fear and anxiety. Probably all of them have a bit of the truth.

Sigmund Freud, for example, the pioneer in the study of emotional and mental problems, thought that anxiety was a signal to the person that some primitive, unacceptable impulse was about to break through to consciousness. Existential psychologists argue that anxiety is caused by the threat of non-being or death. Behavioral psychologists define anxiety as a learned reaction that generalizes to many situations. We are attacked by a dog and so become afraid of all dogs, even though many of them are friendly and harmless.

What all of these theories hold in common is that anxiety and fear are the result of some threat - real or imagined - to our well-being. We are afraid either of physical harm that might occur through attack, accident or illness, or psychological -arm that might occur through failure or rejection.

Worries are caused by our thinking or imagining something harmful happening to us or our loved ones, as when I imagine some failure of the chairlift I am riding. What converts worries into fear or anxiety is that we often assume that what we think might happen, will happen, or has already happened in our overactive imaginations. We fail to distinguish between reality - this present moment and our fancied thoughts of possible future harm, and so make ourselves upset.

Worries, fears and anxieties are either realistic or unrealistic. It is realistic, for example, to worry about a charging grizzly bear but not realistic to be afraid of harmless snakes or insects. It is realistic to worry about your job if the economy is shaky or if you are goofing off but not if the economy is sound and you are a good worker.

And common sense tells us that there are only two types of worries: those you can do something about and those you can't. If you're worried about losing your job, you can't do much about the economy but you can work to improve your job performance.

Worries, fears, and anxieties are not all bad for they motivate us to do things that are good for us. We take care of ourselves because of a fear of ill health. We save for retirement because we worry about supporting ourselves in our old age.

Only when they become excessive or too uncomfortable do these reactions become serious problems.

And growth is not possible without anxiety. Whenever we do something new or different – leave home, go to college, get married or take a new job - our confidence and abilities are always challenged, and so we become anxious. But only as we face and overcome these new challenges and anxieties do we grow in maturity, wisdom and self-esteem.