By J. Bailey Molineux

Do more women suffer from depression than men?

Maggie Scarf, a science writer who has studied depression in women for the past four years, thinks so. In her article, "The More Sorrowful Sex," in a past edition of Psychology Today, she points out that psychological studies have found two to six times as many women as men diagnosed as clinically depressed. But do these results really mean that more women suffer from depression than men? Perhaps these differences are more apparent than real. Perhaps more women admit to feelings of depression than men, or are more willing to seek treatment for their emotional pain.

In other words, maybe men and women suffer equally from depression, but more women are diagnosed as depressed because they have more contacts with mental health professionals who so label them.

This argument does hold up under close examination, however. Community studies of random samples of people have still found more women than men who are depressed, whether or not they are in treatment.

The undeniable fact of the matter is that more women than men do suffer from depression. The differences found in many psychological studies are real, and not artificial.

And the reason why, according to Ms. Scarf, is cultural. Women learn patterns of behavior that make them more susceptible to depression. From infancy to adulthood, women are taught to be more dependent upon than men. As a result, they have a greater need for approval from others, and a greater fear of rejection or loss of love.

In effect, women tend to base their self-concepts not so much upon what they think about themselves as upon what others think of them. Their self-esteem tends to result from external evaluations and not their own internal judgments. They find their sense of worth in loving relationships with others.

Women, then, are not encouraged to develop independent self-concepts. More than is the case with men, their moods and opinions of themselves depend upon the moods and reactions of those around them.

All of which means that women are more vulnerable to interpersonal changes than men, and therefore more vulnerable to depression. Any loss of support or failure in love, while affecting men, can result in a more severe depression in women. By contrast, men, who are taught to be more aggressive, competitive and independent, find their sense of worth in status, power and success.

The incidence of depressive disorders is increasing in present day America. Indeed, it has been suggested that this is the "Age of Melancholy." What may be contributing to this increase, especially among women, is the breakdown in loving relationships, as evidenced by our high divorce rate, and the geographical mobility of many Americans. The supports of family, marriage, friendship and neighborhood are probably not as strong as they once were. And the fact that an estimated 40 million Americans, two-thirds of whom are women, have been affected by depression, suggests that many people have suffered from a loss or weakening of their support systems.

By J. Bailey Molineux, Ph.D.

Sadness can be contagious. If exposed for a long time to a depressed person, we may become depressed ourselves.

Since children are so dependent on their parents, perhaps the greatest contagion of depression occurs in the parent-child relationship.

Some years ago, a group of Yale psychiatric researchers found that children of seriously depressed mothers were nearly three times more likely to develop major depression than children of mothers who had never been depressed. They speculated that this may be due to genetic factors, poor parenting by the depressed parents or general stress in troubled families.

Children from homes in which one or both parents are chronically or seriously depressed are not raised in a happy atmosphere. They may gain the impression that life is sad.

In addition, depressed parents are often unable to fully meet their children's emotional needs. Overwhelmed by their sadness, at times they may be unresponsive to their offspring. As a result, the children may grow up not feeling completely loved.

In my own therapy practice, I've found that these children sense several unspoken messages from their depressed parent. One is, Don't be happier than I am because then I'll feel worse.

Children who believe they've received this message often struggle with depression in their adult lives because they feel guilty if they're happy. It's as if they unconsciously think to themselves, It wouldn't be fair for me to be happier than my parent.

A second message is the opposite of the first. It says, Be happy or successful so I can feel better. By your accomplishments, make up for my deficiencies.

Adult children who have received this impression may be depressed because they've accepted, or given themselves, an impossible task. Since no one can make another person happy, or compensate for his or her own unhappiness, these offspring may feel they've failed their parent.

A third impression received from a depressed parent may be, Don't come to me with your problems, I'm too overwhelmed with my own.

Children who believe this is what a depressed parent is covertly saying often grow up feeling lonely in their families. There may be no one in whom they can confide about their problems.

A fourth message may come from a depressed parent in his or her later years. It says, Stay with me and take care of me. I'll be so unhappy without you.

This message places the children of aging parents in another difficult position. Often, they feel torn between guilt for not responding to their parent or resentment for having to do so.

If you are a parent who is depressed, whatever you can do to relieve your depression will automatically help your children. In fact, I believe that 80 percent of good parenting is insuring your psychological needs are being met, your self-esteem is high and your marriage is strong.

If part of your depression was caused by being reared by a depressed parent, you have to somehow detach from carrying your parent's pain or feeling responsible for fixing it. I'm not asking you not to care or be supportive, however. Instead, I'm suggesting that the only person who can heal another person's depression is that person.

About the Author: J. Bailey Molineux, a psychologist with Adult and Child Counseling, has incorporated many of his articles in a book, Loving Isn't Easy, Isbn 1587410419, sold through bookstores everywhere or available directly from Selfhelpbooks.com. Copyright 2002, J. Bailey Molineux and Selfhelpbooks.com, all rights reserved. This article may be reprinted but must include authors copyright and website hyperlinks.

Find Out If You're Clinically Depressed

By J. Bailey Molineux, Ph.D.

Do you sometimes wonder if you are clinically depressed and not just experiencing an occasional bout of the blues? Do you worry that someone you love is depressed?

There are many symptoms of depression. The presence of several of the following would suggest that you are depressed:

• Sad or blue mood which lasts for weeks or months.
• Spells of crying when you might not even know what you are crying about.
• A sleep disorder. Either you have trouble sleeping at night or you sleep too much.
• Chronic fatigue or a lack of energy. You feel exhausted during the day for no apparent reasons, unless you've had trouble sleeping at night.
• A lack of, or diminished, enjoyment in life. You rarely or never have fun anymore.
• A lack of, or diminished, motivation. You find it difficult to finish your chores, work productively or start those projects which need to be done.
• Poor self-esteem. You feel worthless or useless.
• Suicidal thoughts or plans. Life just doesn't seem worth living any longer.
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions. You have trouble reading a book, for example, or can't decide about an important issue.
• An appetite disorder. Either you're not hungry, and so have lost weight, or you eat too much.

If it is determined that you may be clinically depressed, please be assured there are treatments available which are successful in relieving depression. There are now many newer anti-depressant medications which are more effective with fewer side effects. There are also many things you can do in psychotherapy to feel better such as improve your self-esteem, develop more positive ways of thinking, bring more fun into you life, improve your marriage, develop a network of caring friends, exercise, and/or improve you spiritual life.

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About the Author: J. Bailey Molineux, a psychologist with Adult and Child Counseling, has incorporated many of his articles in a book, Loving Isn't Easy, Isbn 1587410419, sold through bookstores everywhere or available directly from Selfhelpbooks.com. Copyright 2002, J. Bailey Molineux and Selfhelpbooks.com, all rights reserved. This article may be reprinted but must include authors copyright and website hyperlinks.

How To Beat the Holiday Blues

By Keith Levick, Ph. D.

Traditionally, the holiday time represents fun, festivities, and family togetherness. This is the time when we find decorative lights hanging from lamp posts and trees, the sounds of "Deck The Halls" reverberating through the shopping malls, and the extra unwanted pounds on our stomachs and hips. Yet, for many it's a time for suicide, depression and isolation. They are suffering from the "Holiday Blues."

This period usually begins at Halloween and proceeds through New Years. The typical family shops, plans, and prepares for the festivities. It's a time when most people reflect over the past months and sometimes years. For people who were recently divorced, widowed, or experienced a loss/change, this can be a very difficult time. Since the holiday period declares itself on TV, radio, newspapers, etc., it is difficult to avoid. The "unconnected" person is thrown into a passage of events, which can accentuate their loneliness or create a stigma for being alone. Unfortunately, many are forced into believing that not being with other people during these times sentences you to a life of misery.

So, what can you do to beat the holiday blues?

First, it is important to understand that just because you're alone doesn't mean something is "wrong" with you, or that loneliness has to be suffered. It is a shame, that in our society, solitude is regarded as a symptom of inadequacy or even of indifference. Being alone is no more a function of weakness as is being surrounded by people a sign of confidence and popularity. Furthermore, loneliness is only a state of mind resulting from negative thinking. And it can be eliminated by those who learn how to control their thoughts.

Learning to reframe one's thoughts is a relatively simple process, once you learn the basic skills involved. Let's briefly examine how this may be done. New Year's Eve is upon us and Jim doesn't have a date. He is dreading the night, feels like a social outcast, and sees himself as a miserable failure. Here is how Jim can reframe his negative thoughts. "New Year's Eve is only one day of the year, and it's not realistic to be judged a failure or a success because of one day. I can use this time to catch up on the reading I've been putting off." Essentially it is the way we perceive the holidays which causes our dissonance and frustration. Your world will respond with unhappiness, if you see it as a time of "musts," "shoulds," "obligations," and other such cognitive traps. Dealing realistically with the social pressures and other holiday illusions, however, will help you overcome the doldrums.

If you have been feeling down and disconnected during these few weeks, the following are some suggestion that might help you through these tough times:

1. Volunteer your services to the needy. Helping others can really enhance one's self-esteem.
2. Update your roles. The "old you" may not fit who you are today. For example, the transition from being married to being single requires a different self-concept.
3. Surround yourself with friends or take that long over due vacation.
4. Be good to yourself. Buy some new clothes, decorate the bedroom, or do anything that can help feel worthy.
5. Reframe your negative thoughts to realistic thoughts.

So, as the new millennium continues to unfold, allow this upcoming new year to be a another beginning for you - a year of new and exciting visions and letting go of all the old resentment and "baggage" which has held you back from experiencing life to its fullest!

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Keith Levick, Ph.D., is a health psychologist who has been in practice for 20 years and is an Adjunct Professor at Central Michigan University. He is the founder and director of the Center for Childhood Weight Management, a unique treatment program designed for overweight children, located in Farmington Hills, MI, and in YMCA'S throughout Michigan. Dr. Levick is also the President of Goren and Associates, a training and development company. Some of their clients include GM, DaimlerChrysler, Detroit Diesel, AT&T and other Fortune 500 companies. Dr. Levick serves on the Executive Board for the American Heart Association and is well published in the area of health and wellness.

Dr. Levick is author of a new book entitled, Why Is My Child So Overweight? A Parent's Guide to a Fit & Healthy Child, designed to help the entire family become more aware of eating behaviors and help create lifestyle changes. This book is available through SelfHelpBooks.com.

The Causes of Depression

By J. Bailey Molineux

Mary isn't sleeping too well these days. She usually wakes up early in the morning and then can't get back to sleep.

Mary isn't eating too well either. She finds she's just not hungry and so is losing weight.

Her husband noticed that she sits around the house most of the day and does very little. She doesn't get out to visit friends as much as she used to, and their sex life has really gone downhill.

Needless to say, he's worried and hurt, and wonders if there is anything he's done or failed to do that has affected their marriage. And when he's really honest with himself, he wonders if she still loves him.

Mary would probably describe her mood as blue, or low, or sad. She finds herself crying often but doesn't know why. She is often tired, and can't make the simplest decisions, and so sits and does nothing. She is really quite disgusted with herself for being the way she is, and thinks of herself as a pretty worthless, useless person.

What is most discouraging for Mary is that she can't see any hope for change or improvement. She doubts if she'll ever feel better and that doubt makes her feel even worse.

In short, Mary displays many signs of clinical depression: sleep difficulties, appetite and weight loss, motor retardation, withdrawal from social contact, reduced sex drive, depressed mood, chronic fatigue, indecisiveness, self-blame and a pessimistic outlook for the future.

Depression is becoming the number one mental health problem in the United States today. It has been estimated that fifteen percent of the adult population suffers from some degree of clinical depression. Not only can depression be extremely uncomfortable for the person who suffers from it, it can also strain his relationship with his family as Mary's example shows.

We don't yet know exactly what causes depression. There are as many theories about the causes of depression as there are theorists writing about it. The truth of the matter is that there is no such thing as one type of depression - just as there is no such thing as one type of cancer - and so there is no single cause of depression.

My own approach is to look at depression from three different levels - biochemical, psychological and psychosocial - which act singly or in combination to produce depression.

Biochemical. Some people suffer recurrent bouts of depressions for no apparent reason. They may have every good thing life has to offer - family, friends, job and economic comfort - yet are still depressed.

Since many of these people have a history of depression in their families and respond favorably to anti-depressive medications, it is assumed their depressive episodes are caused by genetic, dietary, physiological or biochemical factors.

Psychological. Depression may be caused by what the person is thinking or experiencing inside himself: hurt, guilt, fear, self-doubt, low self-esteem, and/or a sense of hopelessness. What someone thinks or imagines can affect his mood, so that depressing, pessimistic thoughts can make people depressed. Quite often the depressed person blames, criticizes and condemns himself for things - real or imagined - he has done or failed to do, even to the point of condemning himself for being depressed! Since he considers himself to be bad, worthless and useless, and sees no hope for his future, he literally talks himself into a depression.

Psychosocial. Depression can also be the result of some clearly identifiable, external loss or setback as when someone loses his job or becomes divorced. Or depression can be caused by serious marital or family problems. Usually in these cases, the depression can be lifted if the problems that cause it can be alleviated.

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About the Author: J. Bailey Molineux, a psychologist with Adult and Child Counseling, has incorporated many of his articles in a book, Loving Isn't Easy, Isbn 1587410419, sold through bookstores everywhere or available directly from Selfhelpbooks.com. Copyright 2002, J. Bailey Molineux and Selfhelpbooks.com, all rights reserved. This article may be reprinted but must include authors copyright and website hyperlinks.

The Treatment of Depression

By J. Bailey Molineux

"Depression is a biochemical problem and should be treated with medication only," a local physician once told me rather dogmatically. I thought he was right in one sense but wrong in another.

He was right in that all our emotions, desires, thoughts and memories are biologically caused and that medications are effective in treating depression. He was wrong to preclude psychotherapy as an effective treatment for depression also.

Depression is a treatable condition. Eighty percent of patients who seek treatment find relief with either medication, psychotherapy or a combination of both.

As a non-medical therapist, I approach the treatment of depression from several levels:

• Emotional. On an emotional level, strange as this may sound, I'd encourage you to take time to feel your depression as fully as you can. Find out what is making you sad and what you may need to change in life. Have a good cry and later you may feel better.
• Behavioral. My advice on the behavioral level is just the opposite of the advice I give on the emotional level. Instead of giving into your depression all the time, fight the symptoms of fatigue and social withdrawal. Force yourself to exercise, go for a walk, visit a friend or finish those chores. You can't be too depressed and busy at the same time. Also, having some fun things to do will buffer you against depression.
• Attitudinal. Negative, sad, pessimistic thoughts contribute to depression so whatever you can do to challenge such thoughts and use more positive affirmations may relieve your depressed mood. Also, low self-esteem is correlated with depression so improving your self-image should help to lift your mood.
• Interpersonal. There's plenty of research which shows that having a strong social support system is good for our mental health. If you're depressed, reach out to others for support. Have a number of people - friends, family, clergy, a therapist, a support group - with whom you can share your pain and know you will be heard.

Other research finds a strong correlation between depression and marital problems so working on you marriage may relieve your depression. A good marriage can be one of the best anti-depressants available.

• Childhood. It may help to look more closely at your childhood experiences to determine how they may contribute to your present depression. What did you learn about yourself, life and relationships as a child which might have been sad? What losses may you have to grieve?
• Spiritual. The psychoanalyst, Carl Jung, thought the problems of all his patients over thirty five were spiritual in nature. When things are going well for us, we may not have as strong a need for faith as when we are hurting. Your depression could force you to focus more on your spiritual life and develop a closer relationship with your God.

To seek professional treatment for your depression, call a qualified mental health professional. Asking your physician to recommend one is a good first step.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

J. Bailey Molineux, Ph.D. is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and author of the book Loving Isn't Easy
Copyright 2002 J. Bailey Molineux and Selfhelpbooks.com, all rights reserved. This article maybe reprinted but must include author's copyright and website hyperlinks to SelfHelpBooks.com.

Treating Depression

By J. Bailey Molineux

If you're having trouble sleeping at night, losing or gaining weight either because you've lost your appetite or have too good an appetite when you're upset, feeling really sad, hopeless or down on yourself and/or frequently tired, withdrawn and crying, chances are you are clinically depressed and should do something about it.

Before talking about the treatment of depression, however, it is useful to distinguish between the normal ups and downs most of us experience periodically and serious clinical depression that should be treated professionally. Some people who are temporarily discouraged or down in the dumps described themselves as depressed, yet display only a few, if any, of the symptoms of clinical depression: sleep difficulties, appetite and weight change, motor retardation, chronic fatigue, withdrawal from social contacts, depressed mood and behavior, self-blame and a pessimistic outlook for the future.

But if you do display many of these symptoms, I would encourage you to do some things to help yourself feel more comfortable.

First, realize that your depression will eventually pass. No matter how "blue" or sad or depressed you feel, chances are that after a period of time you will feel better.

Research studies have found that 70% to 95% of all depressed persons eventually make a complete recovery, with younger persons having a better chance of doing so.

Your depression is probably caused in part by the fact that you are telling yourself you will never get better, certainly a most depressing thought for anyone to have!

Second, realize also that because of your depression you are probably not thinking as clearly as you ordinarily would and so shouldn't make any hasty or rash decisions you might later regret. Because of your depression you may be seeing events, yourself and your future in a much more negative and pessimistic light than is actually the case and so can't make the most rational decisions at this time.

If, for example, you decide in the midst of a depression to divorce your spouse because you feel he (or she) doesn't love you anymore, that you are not worth loving, you might be making a serious mistake.

Third, even though you might feel tired and not want to do much of anything, force yourself to do something active and constructive no matter how small or trivial. Go for a walk, work on your favorite hobby, do those chores, visit a friend, or go out to a movie. Don't sit around brooding about worries that make you depressed.

The depressive symptoms of motor retardation, chronic fatigue, withdrawal, and indecision have to be actively combated in order to ensure your recovery from your depression.

And the depressive symptoms of self-blame and pessimism have to be actively combated as well. Often the depressed person thinks of himself (or herself) as a bad, useless, worthless, miserable creature, and sees little hope for future change or improvement. Needless to say, such thoughts would be depressing for anyone.

Finally, talk to someone about your depressive feelings and thoughts: your spouse, a friend, your minister or priest. Realize you don't have to be alone in your suffering unless you choose to. And if your depression persists or is really making you uncomfortable, see your physician or a mental health professional about treatment.

The nature of the professional treatment you will receive will depend on the cause and severity of your depression. If the treating professional believes your depression is severe enough or due to biochemical or genetic factors, he will probably recommend some type of anti-depressant medication. If psychotherapy with or without medication - is recommended, it would probably be a good idea to be seen with your spouse or family, especially if your depression is the result of marital or family problems.

But whatever its cause, your depression has probably affected your family, so it would help them, and you, if they had a better understanding of its nature and causes.

In short, effective treatment for depression is available for most people who are willing to seek it and motivated to work on reducing their emotional pain.

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About the Author: J. Bailey Molineux, a psychologist with Adult and Child Counseling, has incorporated many of his articles in a book, Loving Isn't Easy, Isbn 1587410419, sold through bookstores everywhere or available directly from Selfhelpbooks.com. Copyright 2002, J. Bailey Molineux and Selfhelpbooks.com, all rights reserved. This article may be reprinted but must include authors copyright and website hyperlinks.